Harry One-Half
by D the Stampede
Summary: Harry makes a different wrong turn during his first trip through the Floo network and ends up in a potions shop run by a mad inventor. From there, he has this accident with some cursed water from China. Jusenkyo-cursed Harry with girl curse. Not a cross-over.


Disclaimer-Just barrowing Harry and friends for a while, J. K., please don't sue. Also, the concept of Jusenkyo comes from Ranma One-Half, which belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

A/N-Scene One is directly from Chamber of Secrets.

D the Stampede presents

Harry One-Half

Chapter One-A Different Wrong Turn.

One

Mrs. Weasley woke them all early the following Wednesday. After a quick half a dozen bacon sandwiches each, they pulled on their coats and Mrs. Weasley took a flowerpot off the kitchen mantelpiece and peered inside.

"We're running low, Arthur," She sighed, "We'll have to buy some more today. Ah well, guests first! After you, Harry dear!"

And she offered him the flower pot.

Harry stared at them all watching him.

W-what am I supposed to do?" He stammered.

"He's never traveled by Floo powder," said Ron suddenly, "Sorry, Harry, I forgot."

"Never?" said Mr. Weasley, "But how did you get to Daigon Alley to buy your school things last year?"

"I went on the underground-"

"Really?" said Mr. Weasley eagerly, "Were there _escapators? _How exactly-"

"Not _now, _Arthur," said Mrs. Weasley. "Floo powder's a lot quicker, dear, but goodness me, if you've never used it before-"

"He'll be all right, Mum," said Fred. "Harry, watch us first."

He took a pinch of glittering powder out of the flowerpot, stepped up to the fire and threw the powder into the flames.

With a roar, the fire turned emerald green and rose higher than Fred, who stepped right into it, shouted, "Daigon Alley!" and vanished.

"You must speak clearly, dear," Mrs. Weasley told Harry as George dipped his hand into the flowerpot. "And be sure to get out at the right grate…"

"The right what?" said Harry nervously as the fire roared and whipped George out of sight, too.

"Well, there are an awful lot of wizard fires to choose from you know, but as long as you've spoken clearly-"

"He'll be fine, Molly, don't fuss," said Mr. Weasley, helping himself to Floo powder, too.

"But, dear, if he got lost, how would we ever explain to his aunt and uncle?"

"They wouldn't mind," Harry reassured her. "Dudley would think it was a brilliant joke if I got lost up a chimney, don't worry about that-"

"Well… All right… You go after Arthur," said Mrs. Weasley. "Now, when you get into the fire, say where you're going-"

"And keep your elbows tuck in," Ron advised.

"And your eyes shut," said Mrs. Weasley. "The soot-"

"Don't fidget," said Ron. "Or you might well fall out of the wrong fireplace-"

"But don't panic and get out too early; wait until you see Fred and George."

Trying hard to bear all this in mind, Harry took a pinch of Floo powder and walked to the edge of the fire. He took a deep breath, scattered the powder into the flames, and stepped forward; the fire felt like a warm breeze; he opened his mouth and immediately swallowed a lot of hot ash.

"D-Dia-gon Alley," He coughed.

It felt like he was being sucked down a giant drain. He seemed to be spinning very fast-the roaring in his ears was deafening-he tried to keep his eyes open but the whirl of green flames made him feel sick-something hard knocked his elbow and he tucked it in tightly, still spinning and spinning-now it felt as though cold hands were slapping his face-squinting through his glasses he saw a blurred stream of fireplaces and snatched glimpses of the rooms beyond-his bacon sandwiches were churning inside him-he closed his eyes again wishing it would stop, and then-

Two

He fell face first out of a fireplace, landing hard on a stone floor and his glasses jammed into the bridge of his nose painfully before snapping. Dizzy, bruised and covered in soot, he climbed up onto his feet and looked around into the room, quickly realizing he had no idea where he was. It was obviously a potions laboratory of some sort what with all of the cauldrons bubbling over fires and ingredients lining the wall except for one, which selves were full of what looked to be jars of water. In the middle of it all, a man sat in a wooden chair, looking for all intents to be fast asleep while sitting up, his head lolling forward as he snored softly. Holding his broken glasses up to his face, Harry examined the man more closely. If not for the wands he had holstered to each forearm, Harry would have mistaken the man for a muggle due to his clothes, which were a plain white T-shirt over jeans and work-boots of muggle manufacture. The man's brown hair was in a buzz-cut, but he had two or three days' worth of beard on his face.

Coughing up some soot, Harry approached the man and said, "Excuse me, sir, where am I?" Continued snored was his only answer, so he lightly tapped the man's shoulder to get his attention. And then Harry found himself flying through the air for his trouble. He then crashed into the wall beneath the jars of water. Hurriedly turning around and pointing his wand at the man who had just thrown him across the room, Harry found that he was still sitting there, blearily blinking himself awake.

"Hey, kid, what're you doing here?" the man asked through a yawn, "Nobody's supposed to be here right now." He continued as he finished waking up and stood. Then, his eyes widening in alarm, he shouted, "Get away from there!" his warning came too late however as one of the jars came crashing down atop Harry's head, knocking him out.

Three

Harry awoke to a shouting female voice, "John, how many times do I have to tell you not to sleep in my bloody lab!"

"Well, seeing as I'm not around very much, not that often."

"Bloody Americans! If not for the fact you're as skilled at muggle dueling as you are at magical, I'd kick your arse for you! Do you even realize what you've done! You've given the bloody Boy-who-lived a Jusenkyo curse!" the female voice shouted some more.

"Curse!" Harry shouted, wide awake now, before wincing. He had an enormous headache.

"Crank the volume down a few notches, Anne. He's awake. And it looks like he has a bad headache." The man, John, replied to the woman.

"Fine," she huffed, "I'm going to get him a headache potion. You can explain what you've done."

Sighing, John handed Harry his repaired glasses, "Harry, I've got a lot of explaining to do to you, but first, I'm sorry."

"For what? And what was that about a curse?" Harry asked.

"For the curse, of course. And look down at your body," sighed John while gesturing towards it.

Harry did, noticing for the first time that they had moved him from the potions lab into a bedroom and he was currently lying in a bed. The second thing he noticed was two small bumps on his chest that he shouldn't have. Slowly, with a shaking hand, he checked further down and confirmed his fear. He was a girl. That confirmed, he screamed; and was doused with hot water.

"Why'd you do that?" he shouted.

"To turn you back," said John.

"Huh?" said Harry, checking himself and finding he was a boy again, "If it was temporary, why'd you scare me like that?"

"Because it isn't temporary; cold water will turn you into a girl again until you find hot water to change yourself back again. It was the jar of water that hit you in the head that did this."

"How could water do that?"

"That's a bit of a story, Harry," John stated, "But I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? John Smith, at your service."

It was at this point that the woman who had been shouting at John returned, "John Smith, royal pain in the arse, more like." Upon seeing her, Harry noticed something unusual about her to say the least. She had the ears, eyes and tail of a cat. Noticing Harry's stare, she said, "Animagus mishap, dear, I'm permanently stuck between forms. Name's Anne Hathaway." She introduced herself, handing Harry a potion bottle. At Harry's look, she added, "Just a simple headache potion, dear."

At Anne's pointed look, John coughed and said, "Right. The water came from a place Chinese wizards know as Jusenkyo. It's a place of wild magic in the backend of China. Within is a valley with over a hundred springs that are cursed to turn you into what drown there with a splash of cold water. As I've showed you, hot water returns you to your real form. However, for all that is known about Jusenkyo, even more is unknown. How it was created, why, any cures to a curse, all of these are unknown."

"If the springs are in China, how did jars of the water get here?" asked Harry.

"Well besides being a Potion Mistress Anne here is a bit of a mad scientist," said John, receiving a cuff to the shoulder for the description from Anne, "Anyways, she somehow heard about the place and insisted on me smuggling samples back here for her to study."

"I paid you quite well for that," Anne hissed at John.

"Didn't say you didn't," John replied before turning back to Harry and asking, "So what's your part of the story here?"

"First time traveling by Floo powder, I meant to go to Diagon Alley to pick up my school things with the Weasleys."

"The Weasleys? Good lot of people, them, but what about your guardians?" Anne asked.

"My magic hating muggle Aunt and Uncle, the Dursleys," said Harry.

John locked eyes with Harry for a long moment before his greyish-blue eyes turned icy and he said, "Well, that's a match made in hell. Who arranged for you to be raised by them?"

"John, you did not just use Legilimency on a child!" Anne snapped, hitting John on the shoulder again.

"Just a surface scan," John defended, "Besides, what it uncovered…"

"What's Legilimency?"

"And what did it uncover?"

"One at a time!" John exclaimed before continuing, "Harry, Legilimency is an obscure branch of magic that lets one look into the mind of others. Anne, those muggles abuse and neglect Harry here."

"You read my mind?" Harry squeaked.

"No, minds aren't read like a book." Anne explained, "They are too complex and multi-layered, but a skilled Legilimens like John can enter the mind and interpret what they find correctly in the right circumstances."

"I'll ask again." John stated, "Who sent you to live with those muggles?"

"Um, professor Dumbledore," Harry answered.

"Shit! Albus too-many-titles Dumbledore would be your magical guardian. Old man must be slipping to think shipping you to them was a good idea." John snapped.

"That was almost an insult, John," said Anne.

"I hate magical Britain. Half kiss Dumbledore's ass, half of you are blood-purists and your ministry is incompetent and in the blood-purists' pockets." John groaned, rolling his eyes. Anne punched him in the shoulder again. "Quit that!" John exclaimed before turning to Harry and saying, "Well, kid, let's go find the Weasleys."

Four

After walking down a set of stairs and stopping so John could put on a black vest made of what Harry guessed were dragon scales, Harry and John walked through Anne's potion shop out into a dark, narrow street that definitely was not Daigon Alley. "Well, welcome to Knockturn Alley, Harry. Keep your head down, don't look around and follow me. We'll be in Daigon Alley in no time. Still don't know why Anne doesn't get premises in Daigon Alley," John said, leading Harry towards the end of the alley. Once there, they emerged out into bright sunlight. Blinking as his eyes adjusted from the gloom of Knockturn Alley, Harry found they had come out near the bright white marble of Gringotts Bank. "Right, now to find a hoard of redheads," John said mostly to himself.

"Err, do you know the Weasleys?"

"Met Arthur a couple times before when I actually had to deal with the ministry. Nice guy, even if the one time he was busting me for illegal magical modifications to my bike."

"Oh."

They didn't go far before a familiar voice cried out, "Harry!"

They turned to find Hermione rushing towards them, "Friend of yours, Harry?" asked John even as Hermione pulled Harry into a bone-crushing hug.

"Hermione, I can't breathe," wheezed Harry.

"Oh, sorry," She said, letting go, "It's just that you had everyone worried, disappearing like that."

"I would like to say it was just a case of him exiting the wrong fireplace, but it's a bit more complicated than that," said John.

"Everyone?" asked Harry.

"The Weasleys, my parents and even Hagrid are looking for you," Hermione replied.

John smacked his forehead and muttered to himself, "Why didn't I think of it earlier?" He then brandished one of his wands and called out, "Expecto patronum!" A silver eagle then shot out of the end of his wand and flew off into the distance.

"What was that?" asked Harry.

"It's called a patronus charm. Its main use is protection from certain dark creatures, but it also can be used to send messages," John explained, "It's very advanced magic. You won't learn about it for years."

Soon enough, Mr. Weasley came running up to them, followed by the rest of the Weasleys, Hagrid and the Grangers.

Harry received another bone-crushing hug from Mrs. Weasley, who exclaimed, "There you are, Harry, dear. You had us all so worried."

Meanwhile, Mr. Weasley spoke to John, "I knew the voice of that patronus was familiar. John Smith, how have you been? And where did you find Harry?"

"I'm fine, for now anyway," John replied, "And you could say he found me," Then, looking at his wrist watch, he added, "Why don't we head to the Leaky Cauldron for a bite of lunch and I'll explain."

Five

And so, the gathered party went to the Leaky Cauldron and John explained what had happened. This included an accidental demonstration of the curse itself when Ginny spilled her pumpkin juice. John was hexed by Mrs. Weasley for cursing Harry. It was this second time in his cursed form that Harry noticed that while it was as wild as ever, his hair turned red in female form. Then, saying their goodbyes to John and Hagrid, Harry, the Weasleys and the Grangers finally headed to Gringotts before heading off to do their school shopping. Their day was Malfoy-free at least, thanks to their later start.

A/N

And so there it is. Chapter One of a new story. D is a bad fic-monkey, he knows. Hasn't updated Blonde Kitsune Naruto or Shards and Shadows in forever a he's starting something new.


End file.
